There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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