Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Randomize
