I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
ok first of all what the fuck
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
