cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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