he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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