when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
