He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
