You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
this boner is exhausting
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
