found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
