Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
