Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
