I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
