im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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