So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
