who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
