he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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