OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
