So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
