I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
