dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
