I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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