I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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