I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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