Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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