belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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