remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
