Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
