I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
