Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
