I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's not a walk of shame if you run
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
