I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
