If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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