were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I wish I only lived at night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
