I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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