Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
babies were throwing up all over the place
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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