Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
