the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
