I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
