Soap is not a condiment
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize
