Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the condom got lost in my hair
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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