Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
should my penis look like a turkey
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
