Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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