I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I cockslap morals
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
