She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
