I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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