he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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