Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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