i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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