At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
