this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
